The Server Room

1 Chip_Masters Chip sat down in the air conditioned room at a desk with an old non-working teletype on it. On one side of the room there was a collection of old stuff from ACME's past: large monoliths with lights and magnetic tapes, disk packets about the size and weight of washing machines, and old green screen CRT monitors. On the other side of the room, there were large cabinets hiding the very core of ACME's network. Wires from these cabinets attached to ports in the ceiling. To some, it would appear bleak, uninteresting, and very cold, but to Chip it was paradise.

2 Philo Philo was passing by eating half of an italian stub. He stopped, took a couple steps backwards and stuck his head in the door. Hey poindexter! Guys at deh garage are wondering when ya gonna finish workin' on dat GPS system for deh new cars. I dun' understand dem type o' things myself. Us ol' time roadsters: we used teh navigate by deh stars. Oh, and Interstate signs.... He took a bite of his sub as he spoke.

3 Chip_Masters Chip turned towards Philo. What can I say, some people just don't know how to get from place to place. He nodded as he stood up. It's almost complete, I'm just adjusting the speech synthesis so that it doesn't sound like a drunkard's giving directions. I'll have it deployed next week. Noticing the sub, he added, Oh, and please avoid getting any crumbs in the equipment... the older stuff's extremely fragile.

4 Philo Sure got some old stuff. Philo said, taking another bite of his sub. I used teh have a IIgs when I was a little kid. All deh kids in deh neighborhood used teh come to my house jus' teh play Hangman......

5 Chip_Masters I bet that made you popular. I myself had a Commodore PET, Chip said, checking the lights on one rack.

6 Philo Dat was strictly a PC fer schoolwork wasn't it? Philo raised an eyebrow. Well, guess it explains a lot....What'cha workin' on now?

7 Chip_Masters Just some updates to the hub's security system, Chip responded. It'll disconnect from the LAN if it believes an attack it can't take care of by itself is in progress. It'll alert me through the paging system so I can get on the hub, find out who's doing it, and launch a counter-offensive. Of course, during that time our building's Internet will go down.

8 Ken_U_Belevitt Ooh, sounds pretty fancy....too bad it doesn't really work. A voice spoke from the console Chip was working on. It distinctly belonged to Ken U. Belevitt, who was contacting Chip via streaming audio. Now, you really shouldn't be installing stuff like that, Masters. You're going to make a guy feel like he's not wanted...

9 Patty-Larceny But, Kenny, you're NOT wanted, Patty's voice injected her opinion, Oh, sorry, were you, like, just teasing him? She paused, Wait, can they hear me? Like, hear-hear? Should I say hi, I should totally say hi, shouldn't I?

10 Chip_Masters Chip frowned as he heard the two voices. His hand moved toward a switch on one of the cabinets. What business do you have with me?

11 DetectiveAwesome Coming up from the ACME labs, Danny thought a quick nap in the server room would be a good idea. After all, it was a lot closer to his next class than the dorms, and Chip never minded as long as it was quiet. He realized something was up when several voices resounded from within the old room. He was sure he herd a young man's voice saying something about not being wanted, and then Patty's voice. Entering he saw Chip and Philo, both not displaying a particularly happy expression. Danny just said exactly what was on his mind. This doesn't look good.

12 Ken_U_Belevitt Well, I got a brand new toy. It's the DENNIS Virus. Ken chortled maniacally under his breath. Since Crime-Net's got a new anti-virus program. It's an ideal time to see how well the two of them get along. I'll leave the rest to him. You boys play nice now. Toodles! The feed clicked off. Or so Ken hoped Chip believed. He and Patty were still listening in on the audio feed. The upload bar zipped by Chip's screen in a half-second, followed by the opening of another streaming audio window. Ah Chipmaster42, I presume. the voice of DENNIS was gentle, with a slight, English timber to it. It was particularly uncharacteristic of a computer virus to have an English accent, let alone a voice of its own.

13 Chip_Masters Chip moved his hand away from the switch to start entering commands into the Hub's terminal. Let me just tell you that you're up against one of ACME's best... Chip muttered, starting a trace command to find out what Ken's point of origin was. Why not tell me a bit about yourself?

14 Ken_U_Belevitt Ah yes, it is typical of your human enemies to give away their location. That however, is not a tactic I prepare to engage myself in. You know, this is quite a lovely museum of computerized equipment in here. Does that monitor over there still use cathode ray tubes? There was a pause, then a sudden flash of yellow light followed by a popping noise, and then smoke pouring out of the air vents on the Apple II monitor. Well, I guess it did. The scan completed and a window came up revealing that Ken as located at coordinates rl#4k3lsH3^&kkgdlsERylyUtlld.s.tTLl. DENNIS gave a scoff. Yes, a computer virus that could scoff. You know...I think perhaps you don't understand the gravity of this situation. Even if you knew where Ken U. Belevitt was, it'd do nothing to shut me down. I hate to tell you how to do your job, but perhaps I am the one who should be focused on.

15 Chip_Masters Chip jumped when he heard the pop. Damn it, it's using killer pokes! he yelled. He started writing down instructions on a piece of paper. I'm going to disassemble you line by line... After he wrote the paper, he started entering terminal commands to close network ports.

16 Patty-Larceny Not that Patty wasn't excited about computer hacking and numbers, (really, she wasn't) but this is the most exciting thing that's happened with the VILE vs. ACME game since she dropped her swarovski nail extension at the mall. Don't want to be a drag, Kenny, she shrugged, looking at her nails thinking about how they'd look great in Paul Smith stripes, but what am I waiting around to see?

17 Ken_U_Belevitt Well, the virus said it would deal with ACME once and for all. It's up to me to monitor the situation and see how well this will work out. Ken said, scratching his cheek, nervous that Patty may leave. Sure this stuff wasn't interesting, but it was effective. Both their voices could be heard faintly over the streaming audio connection that Ken left open. I think you're forgetting that this is a global network. DENNIS said matter-of-factly. I could just flee to some far off gateway before the door shuts and wreak havok in just that one location. Maybe I'll slash up a server in saigon. Or crash up computers in Cambodia.

18 Chip_Masters You better not, Chip grumbled. You already made enough problems here, I don't want more trouble...

19 DetectiveAwesome Danny had never been more confused in his life, and considering his track record that was really something. What did Cambodia have to do with anything? Why was an English virus attacking ACME? And, how did Chip know how to to talk to it?

20 Ken_U_Belevitt DENNIS chortled again. You humans are so foolish. You expect I'm going to play a game like Ken U. Belevitt, or even your precious Carmen Sandiego would. Me, I'm not interested in games. I'm interested in dismantling this entire network, and one I'm done, perhaps I'll dismantle a few other things too. Suddenly a very wide spark came from one of the montiors, convieniently the one right behind Philo's back. The mechanic was knocked off his feet and onto his stomach with a thud and an oof, surrounded on all sides by broken monitor glass. The back of Philo's cover-alls was singed by the spark that came from the monitor.

21 Patty-Larceny Hearing sounds of pain was funny, especially when you're blond, and Patty gave a snort at Philo's oof. Then Patty remembered something Carmen told her about good things being good and bad things being bad. This computer program, that called itself DENNIS, was doing something bad, not only without a reason, but it was starting to sound like it wasn't going to stop. Hey, Kenny, Patty leaned close and shook an air of perfume loose from her curls, what if that thing doesn't stop at ACME? Like, it's got dirt on us too, what if it takes over ACME, then it turns on us? Where's the kill switch?

22 Chip_Masters Chip cursed loudly as more equipment broke. This is going to be very painful... he added, rushing towards a phone. If this program continued using killer pokes, someone else could get hurt, therefore, he had to have the building evacuated.

23 Philo Philo got up off of the ground with a growl. Awwright, dis thing is dead! He grabbed a random monitor and began to shake it violently, rattling the objects inside. This was a primitive response to a virus attack if there ever was one.

24 Chip_Masters Chip almost had a heart attack as Philo shook the monitor. Gaa! You could be shocked doing that! He moved away from the phone and started unplugging network cords from the various server racks. The less equipment it has access to, the better... I hope this doesn't get to the point where I have to load XERXES...

25 Ken_U_Belevitt "I'm on it." Ken opened up a few menus, and clicked at a few internal messages. "Abort program? YES NO." Ken clicked "YES." Nothing. "YES" again. Still nothing. "YES" YES" YES" YES" repeatedly. "Now, you're not trying to shut me down, are you Ken?" DENNIS said facetiously. "Wha-wh-whatever g-gah-gave you tha-that i-d-deah-ea?" Kenny gulped. "Chip! Listen! Load Xerxes! The source code is in New Delhi! Hur-" Kenny's streaming audio was shut down. On his end, the link to Crime-Net, as well as his entire internet connection was shut down. "Well, that settles it: the internet is down." "But I'm not." DENNIS lauhed maniacally. "What?! How is that possible?"

26 Patty-Larceny Patty looked at both Ken and the screen partially wide-eyed but she wasn't quite in panic mode yet.; One train of thought screamed she should tell Carmen because Carmen makes everything better, but the other bit of her said she was a college student now, and it's not like she and Kenny couldn't handle this by themselves. Couldn't they?; The shoplifter's brain was drawing blanks. "Um, like....," Patty glided both hands up her curls and rested them on top of her head, "Kenny, what do we do??"

27 Ken_U_Belevitt "Lowly-say ove-may o-tay e-thay ransport-tay." Ken slid out of his seat and made quiet steps to the transport bay, where he took the seat of one of the many small two-person jets set on auto-pilot, ready for a hasty retreat. "We've got to get to New Delhi. I've got to find the hacker who sold me DENNIS and have him tell me how to disable it."

28 Patty-Larceny Patty didn't like Indian cities. The provinces weren't bad, but the cities were confusing and hard for even a moderate clean freak like herself. There were plenty of shoplifting practice, and the colors were amazing, but the thought of going to New Delhi made her swallow. She was with Carmen once, running across a section of Calcutta. Patty remembered stopping at the sight and smell of damp rotting fruit lining the streets. Carmen paused midway up the narrow alley to urge her on, "They all wash off, Patty," she said, "follow me." Patty didn't. She tried another way, and ended up detained with some cops. Another VILE henchman came to get her out. ;Patty thought it was worth it, she saved a pair of shoes that would have been ruined. Carmen never was angry about what happened, but it only made Patty feel worse. "I'm going to get my plastic boots," she said outloud, "gotta be, like, totally dressed for India, you know." [[ Thanks to Pru (Carmen) for helping!!]]