Ken's Conspiracy Korner: An Editorial - Ken U. Belevitt

DISCLAIMER: The opinions expressed in this article are fictional and intended only for entertainment purposes. The views expressed in this article do not express the views of carmensandiego.info. Yeah, yeah. Here we go again. After a wealth of quality journal posts, the kid is coming back up to bat. Well, listen up: I may not be as "dynamic" as any of Carmen's other "henchmen." I don't "have a master plan" or even "know what I'm having for dinner." I may not be "sane" or "mentally competent." I may sometimes "wet myself out of fear" and if captured will "squeal faster than a piggy on blood pressure pills." I'm not "charming" or "attractive" or even "humanoid." I may "have multiple chins that jiggle when I walk" or "even when I breathe" and my breath might "smell like kitty litter mixed with fire and brimstone." So maybe I should step aside from the journal a bit and allow you all to be tauted by VILE agents who don't "Smell like fried chicken" and don't "look like someone inflated Napoleon Dynamite" and don't "Steal comedy bits from Chris Farley." *clears throat* End transmission. ---- Okay, I guess it's been a while since I've done one of these. Let's see.... Well, I'm sure you've all heard about what happened to that one guy. I mean, hoo-boy, nobody saw that coming. Well, a lot of people think that what happened to that guy happened because of that thing. You know, that thing that that guy did was what happened to that guy. Well, I'm not so good on believing that. I think that thing that happened to that guy is beause that buncha guys who used to hang around that guy did some stuff to that guy making him think that he had to do that thing which led to him doing the other thing. Of course, I'm not foolish enough to believe that the buncha guys did that thing that led the guy to do that ting which led to that other thing were acting alone. I think they were told to do it by.....you know, THOSE guys. THOSE guys who are always around the...place telling people to....well...Anyway it was THOSE guys who told that buncha guys to get that one guy to do those things that led to another thing. It really makes perfect sense when it all comes together like that, doesn't it?