For Auld Lang Syne - Gunnar/Gudrun

At her small window sill, Gudrun Nygård watered a little clover bush she had kept alive since the day she arrived back home to Sweden from San Francisco. She looked at her clock, almost 2:00 p.m., the time Gunnar Svensson promised to call her just before he leaves for the mission. Even now she hobbled slightly, off her clutches, but still not fully healed. In the glow of the afternoon sun, she began her minor stretching exercises as the doctor ordered. Once in a while, she would pause to look at her phone. Gunnar never misses appointments. He was loitering in the dark about the ACME airfield, anxiety coming over him in these final hours before takeoff. At 4:59 AM, San Francisco, Gunnar punched the familiar 011 46 54 area code followed by the magic seven numbers. He waited until precisely 5:00 AM, then pressed the call button and anticipated her sing-song answer. “Lovefool” played on her cell phone, and the Swedish girl hesitated. The words to that song, when she first heard it in English, she thought were ironic and funny. She used it as the ring tone for her fiancee because it reminded her of his sarcastic humor. But now, in her state of mind, “Love me, fool me, I don’t care about anything but you,” was starting to sound shallow. “Hallå,” she finally picked up after fifteen long seconds. She wanted to say so many things, but she stopped herself. He breathed a pleasant sigh. “Hallå, spikskor tjej.” Gudrun giggled a little, but then became quiet. "[Are you leaving, Gunnar Svensson?]" "[Very soon, yes.]" Gunnar shuffled around on the loose pavement and nervously kicked some pebbles. "[Have they well trained you?]" "[They have tried, but they needed not to bother, of course.]" Gunnar tried to laugh. Gudrun tried to laugh too. Then a few seconds too long passed and she decided to talk about something more pleasant. "[How is weather there?]," It was not the smart question she wanted to say, but it will have to do. "[It is... warm, for a winter. Not like home.]" He clutched his steaming ACME coffee tightly in his left hand. "[How fine over there? Did you arrive home well?]" For the many times Gunnar had called, Gudrun had not answered, or one of her friends answered for her. She felt guilty for this, but she wanted to clear her mind. Now he was asking the questions that he would have asked had they been talking all along. "[It is only cloudy today,]" she said kindly, "[I am healing OK.]" Gunnar looked up at the dark, early morning sky. With a smirk, he remarked, "[It is not sunny here.]" He winced at the meaningless words. He wanted to talk about something... more. "[I have thought about things, Gudrun.]" Gudrun thought about 10,000 words to say at the things Gunnar might have thought about, but in the end, she only said, "Ja?" Gunnar rolled his shoulders, unsure how he should continue. Gudrun waited. "[I thought about... If I lost you...]" Gunnar’s speech quickened, recollections of a handful of terrible dreams surging through his mind. "[You think the same about me, Gudrun? You do, yeah?]" "[I think, if I lost you, Gunnar Svensson, I won't like it.]" She put the phone down a little to compose herself. Then she picked it back up. "[You better stay alive.]" Gunnar shivered--maybe because of a sudden breeze, maybe because of what he saw in himself. "[I thought about myself,]” he started. “[I am a selfish boy, Gudrun. I am a stupid youth.]" Gunnar exhaled heavily as he acknowledged his own words. "[Do you believe I am right?]" She did think he was stupid, but she also thought he was brave. Though it was too late for him to ask her this. He should have asked long before he signed his SOUL. "[You are a good boy,]" she replied, "[and you will be a good man. Why you worry?]" Gunnar stopped where he stood, puffing out clouds of frost. "[Because I have always thought, you are too perfect for me. I am bad for you. I am foolish. I don't ask you, I don't talk to you enough. I don't pay attention...]" "[Why you think foolish things before you go on mission!]" She interrupted him. "[You let me pick if you are bad for me. And I can only do that if you don't die.]" Gudrun put the phone away again for a little, then returned it to her ear. "[How if I run away from this mission? I will. Only say the word.]" Gudrun listened. "[I thought I was going to do this for you. But if you are afraid... I am afraid...]" Gunnar choked and dropped his phone to his side, trying to keep himself in his own control; to restrict his emotion. He recovered himself and spoke back into the phone. It was time he admitted his deepest fear to her. "[I am scared. I am not scared of the fight. I am scared that you will leave me.]" Gudrun took a few moments to think, then she took a long breath, "[Do not be scared, Gunnar Svensson.]"