Author: Love that wife
Company: ssp-isr

Queensbride Review Responses for Chapters 1 – 20

Chapters One, Two, Three, Four, and Five.

Dark Delta 2011-07-31 
This is such an interesting story and I loved the time period you chose. There's not a lot of stories with this setting, and the few that I have read are acceptable but your surpasses that.

Thanks, mate! I tried to keep the time and place fairly vague as I didn't want to concentrate on being historically/geographically accurate. This is a character-driven story, after all. If I had to give it a rough time frame, I'd say mid-late 19th century.

SFC Omicron 2011-08-04 
Hmm. Your characters are crafted well and act very realistic. And, if I may be so bold, is the Queen by any chance, a play on Jadis, the White Witch, from 'Chronicles of Narnia'? Sidja being Phi's nickname for the Queen and it being an anagram of Jadis kinda gave me the idea...

Yep, the Queen is forged in Jadis's image. You win money! :-)
I fell pretty hard for the ice queen and was really upset when the Jesus lion killed her, supposedly because she was evil itself or some stupid thing. I wanted her side to be shown.
I role-played as her servant for a while on MySpace (for which I made SO much fanart, which you can see by following these links; 

Photo manipulation portfolio

Illustration portfolio

When that ended a group of friends and I decided to rewrite her in our own novels, though of the three of us I'm the only one that finished. In fact I finished it years ago. I'm posting the chapters now as I edit them.
Way further on you find that Isadj's (the Queen's real name in 'QB') father's name is Anglsad, which is a looser anagram for aslan.
******

Chapter Six - "In which Phi Runs Away"

Dark Delta 2011-08-08 
So she decides, now the real fun should start. The maid that helped Phi I bet she might have a back story involving the queen. I'm just guessing.

She does, in the sense that all the older staff know something the younger ones don't...;-)

nymphomaniac4u 2011-08-08 
This is a beautiful story. I love how you capture the essence of the Queen by capitalizing the words refering to her. You really don't pull your punches, I feel like I'm a ghost in each scene watching it play. I get so sad when the chapters come to an end. I really am enjoying your story. It's refreshing to see some artword on here aside the mindless smut 

Cheers, mate! So the Queen's capitalized pronouns aren't a problem? I was worried they would be, but I just felt too weird not doing so. The ghost feeling would be about right. I didn't so much write this as I did transcribe it as they went about their lives in my head. It was very hard to keep up with them!
*******

Chapter Seven - "In which the Queen learns a Lesson"

Dark Delta 2011-08-09 
ho ho ho I fucking love this story, glad you joined and decide to share with us this awesome story. Looking forward to the next installment.

I'm just glad that AFF has an original section now. There's no way I could put this on Fiction Press. I asked my wife if this would be considered an MA story, and she says, 
"Do you have any explicit sex scenes?" 
And I said, "Well, I do have that chapter where the Queen describes each part of the female reproductive system in detail as She goes along. Is that explicit?" 
"Yeah, I think that would qualify as explicit." ;-)

Karl the Heretic 2011-08-09 
How do you pronounce 'Phi', anyway?

Tis' pronounced 'Fye', like the symbol. I've actually had people argue with me over how to pronounce my own character's name.;-p
*****

Chapter Eight - "In which Phi tries Again"

Skyro 2011-08-10 
The title of the latest chapter is quite right. I'm glad to see the Queen is having some more thoughts for Phi and not just selfish thoughts for Herself. It seems like there will still be some "road blocks" along the way.

The Queen hates ignorance and won't tolerate it even in Herself. 

nymphomaniac4u 2011-08-10 
I loved the silver pins, being a bdsm sub myself it made me really excited.

As a bdsm sub myself, this comment makes me really excited.:-) Much of what is written into QB is a reflection on my own experiences in the scene. In fact, this book was originally supposed to be a short story for my Domme at the time so we could do roleplay and it snow-balled once the Queen got a hold of it. The roleplay never happened and we split up before the book was finished, but the Queen demanded Her history be written, so... it was.;-)

Also, I hate the 'Beauty' books. I have so many people tell me that those books were their introduction to BDSM and it pisses me off, because they have nothing to do with real BDSM, which involves real people. QB is the anti-Beauty book.
*****

Chapter Nine - "In which Phi gets a Pin"

Dark Delta 2011-08-13 
You know what I forgot to mention about the last chapter, when you describe how Phi lost her hard earned apples. I swear I was like 'awww the apples.'

Phi loved those apples so very, very much and she is comforted that someone shares her grief. <3
*****

Chapter Ten - "In which Phi Learns a Secret."

Skyro 2011-08-17 
This was such a good chapter and it makes me feel like I'm back in those hard times when Queens and Kings ruled and there would always need to be someone to make sure the royality wouldn't be poisoned. That aside, Phi is really starting to come across as quite dumb, or simply lacking knowledge. It scares me a little, but alas. I would actually love to serve this woman, Sidja. She is, in a few words, dangerously beautiful.

The Queen has thouroughly enjoyed your comment and agrees with your assertions. Phi, not as much.;-) It's actually sort of hard for the Queen to be completely safe with Her food/drink intake when She's in public because She doesn't want to look paranoid and therefore weak in front of Her subjects. It is a problem I ran into with this and other chapters. If anyone has a suggestion, Her Majesty is interested.
*****

Chapter Eleven - "In which Phi Learns a Skill."

Teixeira 2011-08-18 
May I ask if, by consideration of the last chapter, this smirks a hint of "Bathory" in it? It does have it`s allure, don`t you think ?

I introduced the two of them to the Bathory story. Phi locked herself in her room, and even the Queen looked a bit perturbed. 
*****

Chapter Thirteen - "In Which there is Dinner"

Skyro 2011-08-18 
Phi has redeemed herself slightly in my eyes and Sidja has become more the victim of several misfortunes. If she is telling the truth that is. *she would kill me if she was real and heard me say that though. XD*.

Her Majesty says She would only consider killing you if you had the audacity to say it aloud. Otherwise She sees skepticism as a sign of intelligence. Generally. ;-) 

Teixeira 2011-08-18 
I´m assuming, if I am not mistaken, that the Queen has no "children" of her own, hence the constant courting. She will have to choose if she wishes to carry on the lineage, which means "baby making".

The Queen doesn't have children and doesn't plan to. She has a successor named in Her will, which She changes from time to time. No one really knows this, though. She isn't at all concerned about keeping the lineage alive. There are... reasons for that. 

Saige 2011-08-18 
Verily I must say, I am quite smitten with this tome you are tossing to us here. So drawn by it, I am, a review has demanded itself to be written.
First I must congratulate you on the ability to have me checking every day that I possibly can for an update, for that is a feat that is only accomplished by few. The development of your characters have me wanting to delve deeper into the story, particularly Sidja. The order of your thoughts and the progression of the story is giving me hope that the age of good literature has not yet vacated this world. I look forward to seeing more chapters coming forth.

Verily this doth please Her Majesty, so much so that She, in Her wisdom, hath bid me read it aloud in the voice of one, 'Dr. Orpheus' of the Venture Brothers troupe, for Her amusement. It pleases me that I have, or so far have, seemed to have accomplished my goal in writing of erotic things in a literary context. Literotica I believe is the word. Sex has much importance in the weave of life and should be treated as such, rather than a fancy trim. Cheers for your review and I do look forward to viewing more as I progress.
Verily! Onward!
*****

Chapter Fourteen - "The Last Door"

Skyro 2011-08-22 
A quote for our dear Lord Averring. "Rudeness is the weak man's imitation of strength."
--Eric Hoffer-- (1902 - 1983)

But maybe, and this is just and idea, we should have Phi start to resist a little again, and then have another character show up, like maybe a head knight that is female. *just an idea*)

Averring doesn't see it as rude. That only applies when dealing with other people. Servants don't really count.;-p As for story changes, thanks mate, but by and large the course has been set already. It is their history, afterall. 
*****

Chapter Fifteen - "In which a Game is Played."

Dark Delta 2011-08-22 
I wanna shake Phi and get her to grasp that submitting won't be the end of her.

Aw, don't forget, you guys, this has only been going on for three days to someone who has had no concept of any of this before. This is based on me, who never did anything; sex, kiss, date, whatever, until I was 24. 24! Of course I knew what sex was, but knowing and doing are two different things. 

Saige 2011-08-22 
Sidja is turning out to be so much more of a complex character than she was first made out to be in the beginning and her attachment to Phi and distate for the man with the blue sleeve seem to be at the same levels in their respective extremes that I can't wait to see the altercation that's going to come of it.

I have always been the sort of person who roots for the villain and so one of my many reasons for writing QB was to give some vindication to the seeming ice queens of the world. 

Skyro 2011-08-22 
Sidja is really hard to gauge as a person sometimes. Is she evil and only seeks the suffering of others, or is she good and just like every other human being, with a strong desire to have a companion to be with, or maybe something more that I can't quite figure out.

That is why people fascinate me. You can never really be sure who or what they are, and even if you could, they are forever changing. Beyond good and evil lies reality. 
*****

Chapter Sixteen - "The Hidden Castle."

Dark Delta 2011-08-23 
I liked this chapter a lot, the emotions and interaction between the two just flow nicely and nice treat at the end telling us the name.

I was told I shouldn't switch between the thoughts of two people in one chapter, but they seem to be handling it well enough.

Skyro 2011-08-23 
Thanks for giving us Her name finally. I hope She knows I mean no disrespect by using Her name.

As for the Queen's name, it's forbidden to use it. Most people don't even remember what it is, which is why She was surprised that Phi knew. People either call Her 'Majesty' or the Queen, and outsiders call Her the White Queen or the Northern Queen. Or other things Phi isn't fond of hearing.;-p
*****

Chapter Seventeen - "In Which Phi Grieves."

Saige 2011-08-24 
The eccentricities and twists and turns of emotions, memories and revalations are so easily revealed that I can't help but fall deeper and deeper in love with Sidja while at the same time increasing my distaste for the man with the blue sleeve (I refuse to use his name, how I hate him.)

Phi is pleased, as she wishes for everyone to fall in love with her Sidjums. Thank thee verily for your comments, as they make me happy that the book is doing what it's supposed to.
*****

Chapter Eighteen - "In which the Queen Receives a Letter"

This chapter took me forever to clean, and even now I'm not sure it's up to my usual standards, but I'm afraid to lose momentum now. There is a comment below that threw me off balance, and then... other sad things in my romantic life.
But the Queen has been adamant in my continuing on. So I will.

Lady_J369 rougevamp_3@yahoo.com 2011-08-26 
The characters are very believable and it makes you want to know more about them as individuals and their dynamic together. I like that the “Ice Queen” is letting down some of her walls to Phi, whether it is intentional or not, it's what Phi needs in order to cope or understand the Queen better. They both have expectations of the other that aren't exactly correct, but they are finding their way. I can relate in a way because I have a pet myself and it takes more than overnight to create that lasting bond.

I always love to hear from others in the scene. I'm trying to write a more accurate depiction of how the dynamic works between two real human beings.

Teixeira 2011-08-27 
(comment very much shorted. For full text, please go to my reviews)
Ah, yes. Sidja is such a monster, so manipulative...And it just frightens me to know she´s proud of what she is, what she does, how she behaves and the thrill she has, of being able to expose true "carnivorous" self. Phi, is just the chain that has been keeping her tamed and god have mercy if jealousy ever drops into her blackened heart. The girl is like a jewel to her, watch but not touch.

I'm sorry, love, but this comment tripped me up terribly and I want to ask all of you; is this how the Queen comes across? Because it would break my heart if that were true.
*****

Chapter Nineteen - "In Which there is some Blood"

Dark Delta 2011-08-31 
Reginald by the way annoys the shit out of me. I wanna fucking choke him.
Don't let one review dictate everything, I did that once and I strayed from my outline. Take it, consider it and weight it, but don't let it completely change everything.

The Queen is pleased that everyone hates him as much as She does. I knew when I signed up that I might get bad reviews but it's a totally different thing when it happens. And that wasn't even a bad review! I guess I was all like, hey, don't be talking smack about my Sidjums! I want you to wuv Her!
*Gets weird look from the Queen.*
Ooookay, I'll just move along then.

Teixeira 2011-08-31 
(comment very much shorted. For full text, please go to my reviews)

Dear, you shouldn`t even care about my opinion. You`ve misunderstood my intentions. The tale is splendid to a point of inflating the hearts of your readers and inducing reviews from them. Pay no attention to that, especially to me "lol". The way you portray the characters is "addictive" Which I so very much enjoy. 
Don`t let other`s influence sweat over your work, because I know very much that feeling. 
Now to my curious perception comes my questions about what circle does the Queen enjoy? Forbidden books? Literature and drawings from the ancient antediluvian eras?

Thank you so much for clarifying your position. I mean, you have every right to not like the Queen, but I'm glad you do, for obvious reasons. This is the first time I have people really reading this thing, so I'm still nervous as to whether it will translate like I want it to, especially when doing a character-driven plot. 
As for the 'Circle', I considered abridging the book by removing mention of it, but I think the book would suffer for it and I thought, why not? I'm not really being judged for length here. Also, the Queen insists Her story stay intact, so the long way we go!

Karl the Heretic 2011-08-31 
This Averring fellow... he gets on my nerves. When does he get what's coming to him?
Patience, young grasshoppah.

Saige 2011-09-01 
My dearest wishes go out to you towards the continuation and I hope that, if the White Queen may not find me too bold in saying, Phi may eventually find peace and love where she does look for it.

The Queen doth raise an eyebrow to you in regards to Phi, for She does not feel quite comfortable discussing such things. However, She is pleased that you wish her no ill intent, as other members of Her court have begun to aggravate Her over Her decision. Phi agrees that her Queen's mind is indeed fascinating and enjoys watching it at work when it's not working against her (and even then she can't help but enjoy that too, just a little bit).
*****

Chapter Twenty - "In Which Phi sleeps In."

Skyro 2011-09-01 
But in all honesty, I see the confliction now. Her heart is torn between having Phi as a simple little servant that She can push around and as someone She can love or does love.

Sidja wants both, but She doesn't know it yet. 

Karl the Heretic 2011-09-02 
"You're just this tender, docile little creature that I want to dig My claws into and *crush* sometimes. Make of it what you like." That made me laugh so hard. I don't know why. Good show, my Queen, good show.

The Queen is pleased that someone else enjoys Her dark sense of humour.;-)

Dark Delta 2011-09-02 
Just wow, Phi is one tough little cookie I commend her for that, and this only makes me hate Reginald even more, technically it was his fault. That is a good safe word, wonder when Will Phi use it.

Phi just loved being called a tough little cookie! As someone who is in the BDSM scene, I can say with certainty that the Queen is the only person I would endure a quirt for that long for. ;-p Hey, anyone on here on Fetlife? You can find me there with the same user name.
*****
There, that's all of them. Now, onward to Chapter 21!